when will I hit 50k
when will i hit 100k
when u eat 2 socks
that’s like 6 am i good????????? will u people follow me now???????????????????????? will there finally be an asian president?????????????????????????????????
I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day while I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in the corner of the subway station muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.
An overweight woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”
Wow, this man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money?
Then a tall businessman went by and the man muttered, “Human.”
Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human.
The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings. A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Cow.” Cow? The man was much too skinny to be a cow. To me, he resembled a turkey or a chicken. A minute or so later, an obese man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fat people “Pig”.
That day at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he as muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability. In Japan many people believe in reincarnation, so maybe he knows what these people were during a previous life. I observed the man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit”, “Onion”, “Sheep”, or “Tomato”.
One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said, “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. It is an ability I obtained many years ago, but it’s not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that.”
“Then what is your ability?” I asked eagerly.
“The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said.
I laughed because I realized he was right. He said, “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless.
BUT GUYS HE SAID HUMAN WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS OH MY GOD
mulan dont give a shit
mulan has run out of fucks to give
Mulan no curr
Mulan: “Gurl had it coming.”
Mulan: ” One less bitch, to worry about “
Mulan: “Who’s next?”
Mulan: “Look at all that dishonor”
I’M LAUGHING TO HARD AT THIS OMG
MULAN NO CURR
Mulan: Are you fucking serious Snow
Mulan: I fought in a motherfucking war
Mulan: I saved motherfucking China
Mulan: And you get taken down by a motherfucking apple
DISHONOUR ON YOU! DISHONOUR ON YOUR COW!
If one day I no longer reblog this it’s because I’m no longer in this world.
I enjoy when this returns to my dashboard
Mulan: How many times is she gonna fall for the poisoned apple trick?
the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it
Humans have 3 types of rods for processing color (red green and blue). Mantis Shrimp have 16.
Fucking shrimp. I will NOT be jealous of food.